July 13, 2009

Breath/Vibration

A while back (years ago, really), I was wasting time at the no-brain cube job I was working by reading some Dylan Thomas.  I stumbled across a line in a poem called “I Fellowed Sleep” that hit me hard across the forehead the way that poetry can, when it’s doing what it should.  The offending stanza goes like this:

‘My father’s globe knocks on its nave and sings.’

‘This that we tread was, too, your father’s land.’

‘But this we tread bears the angelic gangs,

Sweet are their fathered faces in their wings.’

‘These are but dreaming men. Breathe, and they fade.’

Don’t ask me what that gobbeldygook is supposed to mean, but something about that last line struck me.  These are but dreaming men.  Breathe, and they fade. At first, I thought the line made a powerful statement about the steadfastness of dreaming men.  Breathe, and they fade. It was bittersweet.  I’ve always been more of a dreamer than a doer, and have discarded more projects than I’ve finished in my time.  But then I started thinking about all of the other things that fade as we breathe, which brought me around to language, and eventually to music (why write a song?  a song’s nothing but air, you just breathe and it’s gone).

There’s something beautiful about realizing the value that we, as ephemeral beings, place on the ephemeral aspects of our lives.

I think about this now, because of all of the joy I get out of reading books aloud to the Bear.  It has helped me to discover so many wonderful things, like how Krazy Kat has to be read aloud to be properly appreciated, or how when the Bone movie is finally made, it’ll be a shame if Phoney Bone doesn’t sound like a bad James Cagney impersonation.  Most of all, though, I love how the expression of language, this act of breath creating vibrations in precise rhythm and tone, can construct a physical environment out of nothing but air.

Currently, we’re reading The Tale of Despereux. I highly recommend it for anyone looking for a good read, but especially for anyone looking for something to read aloud to their kids.  Like the best books we’ve read together, it rewards the reader for taking time to follow the rhythms of the prose and for taking advantage of the opportunity to construct different voices for the different characters.  We’ve spent most nights this past week, my oldest son and I, lying next to each other in his bed, under the dome of breath and vibration that comes from reading this story aloud.  Just like the dreaming men, just like the words from the story, we’ll both be gone in little more than a breath.  It’s an impossibly beautiful thing that we can share our time together making magic like this.

I hope you get to take time to relish the passing moments with your family as well.  What do you like best about reading together?

June 24, 2009

The Glove Saga

Last Thursday, our weekly drop-off-mama-rush-home-get-ready-for-baseball-practice-scramble-damble hustle was interrupted by this exchange:

Me:  Ok.  Now where’s your glove?

Bear:  Uuuuhhhhh . . .

Me: Go find it.

(beat)

Bear: I can’t find it anywhere!

No stranger to this phenomenon, I went looking for that little leather effer myself, but despite my very best efforts, I couldn’t find it either. 

Me: Maybe you can wear my glove (it’s way too big for him)

Bear: It’s way to big for me!  What if all of the other kids laugh at me?

Uh oh. 

Since he was 4 or so, I’ve been amazed by the Bear’s social confidence.  On his first day of school, while the other children clung to their parents, sobbing and looking around the beautifully soft and welcoming Waldorf kindergarden space, he was busy running around introducing himself and inviting others to play with him.  Since then, he’s been a leader in the classroom and on the playground, diplomatically encouraging others to help with cleanup, politely directing play, and going OFF with feminist rage when the boys try to exclude the girls in a game. 

But with that one little sentence, spit through his loosening teeth, all of the tears of ostracism and ridicule that still shimmer right under the surface of most of my daily interactions threatened to break the levee.  Although I tried to redirect his concern by asking him to rationalize it (why would they laugh?  ”because they would think I wouldn’t be a good player” *ouch*), and rededicated myself to finding the glove, I knew right then that I would give in when he said he didn’t want to go to practice without it.

In the end, we couldn’t find it (until the next week when dear mama picked up some dirty clothes in the bedroom), and we didn’t go to practice.  I figured, what’s the use of putting him through that suffering?  Even if he wasn’t laughed at, why should I make him go through the pain of worrying about it?  I was saving him that pain, right?

Wrong?  I don’t know now.  If there’s one thing I love more than guessing, it’s second guessing.  And, I’m always a fan of (solicited) advise.  So what do you think?  Rather than let him avoid the situation he feared, should I have tried to reassure him, taken him to practice, and told him to forget any kids that made fun of him?  Would that have made him stronger, or would it have just made a bruise in his little heart that would have stayed soft for thirty (plus?) years?   

I’d love to hear what you think, nebulous and mysterious interwebs.  Are you out there?

June 24, 2009

Hello Bloglin’

It’s nice to see you. It’s. been. a. long. tiiiiiime

March 20, 2009

Daddy Man